man who is unable to ejaculate or reach orgasm during intercourse

How To Ejaculate During Intercourse

If you are a man who can't ejaculate during sex or masturbation, help is at hand!

If your husband or boyfriend can't ejaculate during intercourse, we have the solution! An easy, simple, self-help treatment for men who cannot ejaculate and their partners to use at home.

Advice For Men With Delayed Ejaculation

Yes! I really mean that you can easily change things so you can ejaculate normally during sex.

No matter what's holding you back right now, no matter how long you make love without coming, no matter what stimulation you need, and no matter what it currently takes for you to get to your climax, you can discover how to enjoy normal intercourse in a matter of weeks.

I know I can help you because in the last fourteen years I have helped hundreds of men with the inability to ejaculate during lovemaking - a condition known as "delayed ejaculation" - to regain (or experience for the first time) all the pleasures of intercourse with their girlfriends, wives or partners.

You see, couple with delayed ejaculation problemsI've been running a website on delayed ejaculation for over 10 years, and in that time I've helped hundreds, if not thousands, of men to solve their difficulties and to get over their difficulties ejaculating, so they can enjoy normal sexual intercourse and rewarding physical relationships.

I started working with men with sexual difficulties about 14 years ago. Of course everyone knows about premature ejaculation, but not so many people know about men being unable to ejaculate during lovemaking a surprising fact, because it affects about one man in twelve. Yes, that many.

So you're not alone. Not by a long way. And it doesn't matter if the cause of your delayed ejaculation is traumatic masturbation in a prone position when you were a teenager, or not being aroused when you have sex, or relationship difficulties with your partner, or the simple fact that you prefer sex with yourself to sex with someone else.

happy couple who have cured delayed ejaculationI'm telling you, right here right now, that it can be fixed using my self-help treatment program. I reckon, from the feedback I get, that my program has a 96% success rate. And I'm sure you're wondering how this works.

Well, you can click here now to go to the treatment program, or you can read on for more information. There's a link at the top of the right hand column of every page of this site which will take you straight to the treatment program when you want to go there.

Just think, you could be enjoying normal sex within weeks! And that has to be something worth aiming for.

Best wishes, Rod Phillips

You Cannot Ejaculate With Your Wife Or Partner?

symbol of male and female genderA man's failure to reach climax can be really challenging for both members of a couple.

After all, sex with a natural conclusion - i.e. the husband or boyfriend ejaculating inside his partner - is one of the most important things during sex as it provides physical pleasure to both men and women.

And, as you may know, it can provide deep emotional satisfaction and fulfillment too.

For both men and women, it's normal, natural and satisfying when lovemaking ends with the man reaching his climax while he makes love to her. In other words, lovemaking ends naturally when the man comes inside his partner, if that's what they both wish.

So, if you're a man, whether boyfriend, husband, or partner, who can't ejaculate, or you're having trouble ejaculating,  during sex, it will no doubt be a great relief to you to know that there is a practical cure for delayed ejaculation. That's the medical name for this problem.

But just why is ejaculation so important? Well, for a woman, having a man come inside her vagina is at the very least proof of her sexual desirability. And for a man, it's the culmination of the most powerful human instinct as well as being very satisfying and pleasurable.

The simple fact is this: it makes a man feel very masculine, at a very profound level. It makes a woman feel desirable and gives her deep emotional fulfillment. Therefore, when a man cannot reach the natural conclusion of lovemaking easily, both he and his partner suffer.

In short, delayed ejaculation, the inability to ejaculate, can reduce a man's self-esteem and reduce his sense of being a normal man.

This problem may seem hard to understand: for the majority of men, not being able to 'release' naturally during intercourse is unthinkable. Indeed, the majority of men have a problem delaying ejaculation for a reasonable time.

woman cannot conceive child because husband has delayed ejaculationAnd there are other things associated with this condition: the sense that you can't father a child; the feeling that somehow you're, well, not exactly impotent, but perhaps somehow less masculine than other men; that you lack something as a sexual man if you are unable to ejaculate.

This is definitely the reason why the problem is so little talked about. A lot of men are simply ashamed of the fact they cannot come with their partners. Fortunately, a cure is readily available, and while it may take a little digging to get down to the cause of it, in the majority of cases normal "service" can be resumed without too much difficulty.

Causes of Ejaculation Problems

There are several causes, including hard masturbation methods desensitizing a man to normal stimulation during intercourse.

Another cause can be a low level of sexual arousal - even when a man has an erection. Sometimes this is caused by inhibitions about sex. On this page of the site, we look briefly at a man who couldn't come because of the way he had masturbated for years - ever since his teens... He had used a hard and fast masturbation method which had desensitized him to sexual stimulation.

This is very common - and as a variation, some boys learn to masturbate by thrusting into a pillow or the mattress, hands free, and this can have the same effect of disabling the normal climax reflex.

There are other causes of delayed ejaculation, described on other pages of this site. But in all cases you'll be glad to know that there is a cure, and you can find it in my treatment program (see the top of the right hand side of this page.)

A Man Who Was Unable To Ejaculate With His Wife

His problems originated with his long standing masturbation method.

He Emailed me after he had bought my self-help treatment plan to say:

"I just cannot come during intercourse. I agree with your principles and I believe you are correct in that I have contributed to the problem by masturbating in a certain way for over 40 years in one specific way. I cannot respond to the stimulation generated on my penis during intercourse. You need to know: we are using the term 'delayed ejaculation' but I cannot reach orgasm and ejaculate either during intercourse or when she masturbates me. I can only ejaculate ("come") by masturbating, when I'm on my own, with a hard grip and a fast pace.

"I want to learn how to use a light touch like the stimulation my penis gets from my partner's vagina during intercourse. Do you have any suggestions about how best to do this?

"Another thing I want to know about is 'getting out of your head.' You say I need to pay more attention to my partner than to my fantasy? Not sure how this is possible. If considering the opposite issue premature ejaculation the brain can certainly create an orgasm. In my case I think this is part of the issue. I believe I am not nearly 'turned-on' enough - keeping in mind that sensitivity during intercourse is reduced for me.

"I need to get my brain into it. Get more excited. I need to be able to get more sexually aroused so I can reach orgasm. I just do not know how to do that. Can you help? I will answer any questions you may have. Really, a sincere thank you for your help. This is going to destroy yet another relationship and I have had few in my 49 years because of this issue."

My response was this:

"Thanks for your email. Sorry to hear you can't find a way though these difficulties. To start with, I distinguish between arousal produced by fantasy alone, and arousal produced by physical touch. In the latter case, the physical arousal of the body will excite you mentally, but your mental state will be very different than if you are relying on fantasy.  However, for you, the issue seems to be how you let go of the inhibitions around arousal / ejaculation. So yes, there is the element of the masturbatory methods you've used, but as you say you also need to be more aroused. If you had to take a guess about what it is that is keeping you from getting aroused, what would you say it is? Another question do you love and/or trust and/or respect your partner?"

His answer:

"I have been doing much internet research on this subject. I have even called a couple of psychologists including my local sex clinic and talked with a couple of their therapists/psychologists. None of these people know how to treat this issue or certainly they have not convinced me that they have enough experience or knowledge to treat this issue. It is disheartening to find that there has never been any helpful research done on this subject and very few professionals know and understand this. You are the only one I can find who has some interest in treating this issue.

expect delays sign to indicate delayed ejaculation"I would like to update you a little more as there have been some changes over that past 2 weeks. I am not having any relationship issues here. I am not having anxiety issues, relaxation issues, etc. My partner has been a part of solving my problem from the beginning and completely supportive (upfront I gave her a copy of your self-help treatment plan.)

"Couple of things about my problem: I should note that I am not addicted to internet porn and have really never masturbated to any physical images. Looking at pictures or even live women has never been my motivation. Nor do I have 'strange' fantasies. In fact, usually I fantasize about what she may be doing to me or I may be doing to her which is odd in that this is exactly what she or I am doing 'live' but it does not seem to matter. I'm still unable to ejaculate.

woman reachng orgasm during lovemaking due to husband's prolonged erection, a characteristic of delayed ejaculation"I am no longer assuming a lack of arousal. She can manually take me so close to orgasm it is unbelievable. I can get to a point of 'dry' ejaculation contractions (for lack of better term), but my ejaculation just will not release. I acknowledge that at that point I want to come so bad that I bring myself to orgasm with my right hand. And I can always finish it myself within 5 minutes. This is after we have worked on it together for the previous hour.

"I know this is a result of so many years of inducing ejaculation myself in one particular way hard and fast -  with my right hand. But again she can take me so close to orgasm. I just find it so impossible to believe that when getting this excited and this stimulated, I still cannot make it to my climax. I just cannot understand why it does not work.

"We have been working on the following over the last several weeks focusing on just getting it to work 'manually.'

1) No masturbation by me i.e. she is the only one who is touching my penis.

2) Allowing some time between to build sexual desire and sexual arousal.

3) A lot of foreplay both for her and me. In other words taking much time and creating a good romantic experience.

"But I am still experiencing this curse of inhibited orgasm. I am really convinced that my brain is blocking ejaculation. It must be thinking 'no this is not how we do this' and that there is a distinct relationship between ejaculation and my right hand!

"I'm unable to decide where to go next. I assume eliminating all the possible deep-rooted issues?

"I know every case is different. I am really hoping that this particular case will help you in your work with this subject. Hopefully it'll be helpful for you to communicate with me too. "

Another email from him after a few days:

"Thought I would give you an update. I have still have not been successful. BUT I am at a point now where I can get unbelievably close during intercourse. That is new. Purpose of this e-mail is to tell you I have not given up and I find your approach to be the most logical. I have essentially gone back and am working more again with the Step 1 Masturbation Alone even though I am still occasionally attempting intercourse. I have just got to get my subconscious brain to 're-train' and 're-learn' how to orgasm. Going back to Step 1 is the most logical approach.

I must say your concept is good, and I know you have to instruct generically not knowing who your patient is, but bottom line is that your logic here is right on the money: I have developed a subconscious mental belief that sex and orgasm can only be done one way, my old way: with my right hand, fast strokes, and elaborate fantasy. I've desensitized myself to stimulation!

Right now I cannot orgasm (even doing it myself.) I do not want to give up and reach orgasm the 'old' way although sometimes I do just to relieve the pain and pressure of 'blue balls'. This has been my greatest problem in trying to get through these exercises and make myself able to ejaculate.

I am assuming that if I just keep doing this that at some point it will work. But I also worry that I am spending a lot of time and enduring discomfort with something that may never work for me. On average, how long should I even keep working this exercise before giving up and trying something else? How long should I try during each 'session' before quitting for the day and deciding I really am unable to ejaculate?

Are there any other 'tricks' I should add during these sessions? I was calling it 'control' before and even though I believe this is still part of it, the underlying issue behind my failure to reach orgasm is simply 40 years of doing it only one way, hard and fast.

man masturbating to gain sexual relief as he cannot ejaculate during sexual intercourseI know exactly what I need to do here: retrain my brain. That is so easy to say and recommend but how exactly to do that is the hard part. I am assuming your recommendation is repetition following Step 1. Do you have anything else to add?

Last: I know everyone is different. I am finding sexual intercourse to be useful as part of this program to overcome my problems with my ejaculatory reflex. But I do not think it would be if we had not already been successful with the first general part of your program i.e. relationship, relaxation, etc. This we have been very successful at completing.

The bottom line here is this: I am attempting to retrain my brain by experiencing and enjoying intercourse and developing fantasy only as it relates to me and her. I am also adding doing further work on sensitizing myself to touch and changing fantasy and thought patterns. It would be my 'dream' to someday be able to help you fill in some new details and further approaches to help men who are can't get over this problem."

Well, he was right - the only way to discover how to ejaculate during lovemaking is to try a treatment program designed for men to use at home during lovemaking with their partner.

There are some more pages on this site which may be interesting:

Treatment And Solutions For Men Who Can't Ejaculate ] Advice For Women If Your Husband Is Unable To Ejaculate ] Effects Of Delayed Ejaculation On A Couple - 1 ] Effects Of Delayed Ejaculation On A Couple - 2 ] Effects Of Delayed Ejaculation On A Couple - 3 ] Definition of Delayed Ejaculation ] Scientific Research ]

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Updated 10/05/2015

October 5 2015