man who is unable to ejaculate or reach orgasm during intercourse

Dealing With Male Sexual Dysfunction - Delayed Ejaculation

If you can't ejaculate during sex or masturbation, help is at hand!

Yes! I really mean that – you can easily change things so you can ejaculate normally during sex. No matter what's holding you back right now, no matter how long you make love without coming, no matter what stimulation you need, and no matter what it currently takes for you to get to your climax, you can discover how to enjoy normal intercourse in a matter of weeks.

I know I can help you because I must have helped more men with delayed ejaculation than just about anybody else on this planet. You think that's an idle boast? Not at all.

couple with delayed ejaculation problemsI've been running a website on delayed ejaculation for over 10 years, and in that time I've helped hundreds, if not thousands, of men to solve their difficulties and to get over their ejaculation problems, so they can enjoy normal sexual intercourse and rewarding physical relationships.

I started working with men with sexual difficulties about 12 years ago. Of course everyone knows about premature ejaculation, but not so many people know about delayed ejaculation – a surprising fact, because it affects about one man in twelve. Yes, that many.

So you're not alone. Not by a long way. And it doesn't matter if the cause of your delayed ejaculation is traumatic masturbation in a prone position when you were a teenager, or not being aroused when you have sex, or relationship difficulties with your partner, or the simple fact that you prefer sex with yourself to sex with someone else.

happy couple who have cured delayed ejaculationI'm telling you, right here right now, that it can be fixed using my self-help treatment program. I reckon, from the feedback I get, that my program has a 96% success rate. And I'm sure you're wondering how this works.

I'd like you to go to the website itself and see what I say there; listen to my ideas about delayed ejaculation and consider if they have any relevance to you at all. If you want to get over being unable to ejaculate, this could be the most important step you ever take…. click here to find out about ending delayed ejaculation easily, quickly, and powerfully.

Just think, you could be enjoying normal sex within weeks! And that has to be something worth aiming for.

Best wishes, Rod Phillips

The Difficulty Of Being Unable To Ejaculate

symbol of male and female genderThat can really be a challenge for a couple. It's one of the most important things during sex as it provides physical pleasure to both the man and the woman. And, as you may know, it can provide deep emotional satisfaction and fulfillment too.

Sure, it's important for a woman that her man finds her sexually attractive. And for a man, it's extremely important to be able to get an erection in a sexual situation.

But for both men and women, it's normal, natural and satisfying when lovemaking ends with the man reaching his climax while he makes love to her. In other words, lovemaking ends naturally when the man comes inside his partner, if that's what they both wish.

So, if you're a man who can't ejaculate - or you're having trouble ejaculating - during sex, it will no doubt be a great relief to you to know that there is a practical cure for delayed ejaculation (that's the medical name for this problem).

But just why is ejaculation so important? Well, for a woman, having a man come inside her vagina is – at the very least – proof of her sexual desirability. And for a man, it's the culmination of the most powerful human instinct – as well as being very satisfying and pleasurable.

The simple fact is this: it makes a man feel very masculine, at a very profound level. It makes a woman feel desirable and gives her profound emotional fulfillment. Therefore, when a man cannot reach the natural conclusion of lovemaking easily, both he and his partner suffer.

In short, delayed ejaculation can be very shaming, and it can reduce a man's self-esteem and reduce his sense of himself as a sexual male. It also seems hard to understand: for the majority of men, not being able to 'release' naturally during intercourse is unthinkable. Indeed, the majority of men have a problem delaying their climax for a reasonable time.

woman cannot conceive child because husband has delayed ejaculationAnd there are other things associated with this condition: the sense that you can't father a child; the feeling that somehow you're, well, not exactly impotent, but perhaps somehow less masculine than other men; that you lack something as a sexual man if you are unable to ejaculate.

This is definitely the reason why the problem is so little talked about. A lot of men are simply ashamed of the fact they cannot come with their partners. Fortunately, a cure is readily available, and while it may take a little digging to get down to the cause of it, in the majority of cases normal "service" can be resumed without too much difficulty.

Here's a series of emails I received from a client with DE.

About five weeks ago, I purchased your treatment, because I was just cannot come during intercourse. I agree with your principles – and I believe you are correct in that I have contributed to the problem by masturbating in a certain way for over 40 years in one specific way. I cannot respond to intercourse. You need to know: we are using the term 'delayed ejaculation' but I am cannot reach climax either manually with my partner's hand or during intercourse. I can only come with my own stimulation, on my own.

That said: I have been practicing the 're-learn a light touch without fantasy' exercise. I am getting nowhere after 2 times a week for 4 weeks. It just does not work – at all – after 2 hour time periods. What kind of time-frame should I be looking at? Do you have any other suggestions here – what do I do if this very important step does not work? Obviously I cannot move to any of the next steps.

Another thing I question is 'getting out of your head.' Not sure how you think this is possible. If considering the opposite issue – premature ejaculation – the brain can certainly create an orgasm. In my case I think this is part of the issue. I believe I am 'turned-on' but not nearly enough – keeping in mind that sensitivity during intercourse is reduced for me.

I need to get my brain into it. Get more excited. I need to be able to get more sexually aroused so I can reach orgasm. I just do not know how to do that. I know this is opposite of what you teach. Can you help? I will answer any questions you may have. Really, a sincere thank you for your help. This is going to destroy yet another relationship – and I have had few in my 49 years because of this issue.

My response:

Thanks for your email. I distinguish between arousal produced by fantasy alone, and arousal produced by physical touch. In the latter case, the physical arousal of the body will excite you mentally, but your mental state will be very different than if you are relying on fantasy. I think it's a matter of the way I have expressed this, and I will review the program to make it clearer. However, for you, the issue seems to be how you let go of the inhibitions around arousal / ejaculation. So yes, there is the element of the masturbatory methods you've used, but as you say you also need to be more aroused. If you had to take a guess about what it is that is keeping you from getting aroused, what would you say it is? Another question – do you love and/or trust and/or respect your partner?

His answer:

I need to tell you I have been doing much internet research on this subject. I have even called a couple psychologists – including my local sex clinic – and talked with a couple of their therapists/psychologists. None of these people know how to treat this issue – or certainly they have not convinced me that they have enough experience or knowledge to treat this issue. It is disheartening to find that there has never been any serious research done on this subject – and very few professionals know and understand this. You are the only one I can find who has some interest in treating this issue.

expect delays sign to indicate delayed ejaculationI would like to update you a little more – as there have been some changes over that past 2 weeks – if you are interested. I am not having any relationship issues here. I am not having anxiety issues, relaxation issues, etc. My partner has been a part of solving my problem from the beginning and completely supportive (upfront I gave her a copy of your self-help treatment plan.)

Couple of things about my problem: I should note that I am not addicted to internet porn – and have really never masturbated to any physical images. Looking at pictures – or even live women has never been my motivation. Nor do I have 'strange' fantasies. In fact, usually I fantasize about what she may be doing to me – or I may be doing to her – which is odd in that this is exactly what she or I am doing 'live' but it does not seem to matter. I'm still unable to ejaculate.

woman reachng orgasm during lovemaking due to husband's prolonged erection, a characteristic of delayed ejaculationThen: I am no longer assuming a lack of arousal. She can manually take me so close to orgasm it is unbelievable. I can get to a point of 'dry' ejaculation contractions (for lack of better term), but my ejaculation just will not release. I acknowledge that at that point I want to come so bad that I bring myself to orgasm with my right hand. And I can always finish it myself within 5 minutes. This is after we have worked on it together for the previous hour.

I know this is a result of so many years of inducing ejaculation myself – in one particular way – with my right hand. But again – she can take me so close to orgasm. I just find it so impossible to believe that when getting this excited and this stimulated, I still cannot make it to my climax. I just cannot understand why it does not work.

We have been working on the following over the last several weeks – focusing on just getting it to work 'manually.'

1) No masturbation by me – i.e. she is the only one who is touching my penis.

2) Allowing some time between to build sexual desire and sexual arousal.

3) A lot of foreplay – both for her and me. In other words taking much time and creating a good romantic experience.

But nothing produces success. I am still experiencing this curse of inhibited orgasm.

One of the side issues is I am suffering from is 'blue balls' so bad the next day that I can hardly walk. The pain is so bad that I do not think I can sustain this practice. I am really convinced that my brain is blocking ejaculation. It must be thinking 'no – this is not how we do this' and that there is a distinct relationship between ejaculation and my right hand.

I'm unable to decide where to go next. I assume eliminating all the possible deep-rooted issues (that I am truly convinced are not issues) and that this could be as simple as the brain not able to comprehend someone else doing it – what should I try next?

I know every case is different. I am really hoping that this particular case will help you in your work with this subject. Hopefully it'll be helpful for you to communicate with me too.

Another email after a few days:

Thought I would give you an update. I have still have not been successful. BUT I am at a point now where I can get unbelievably close during intercourse. That is new. Purpose of this e-mail is to tell you I have not given up and I find your approach to be the most logical. I have essentially gone back – and am working more again with the Step 1 Masturbation Alone – even though I am still occasionally attempting intercourse. I have just got to get my subconscious brain to 're-train' and 're-learn' how to orgasm. Going back to Step 1 is the most logical approach.

I must say your concept is good, and I know you have to instruct generically not knowing who your patient is, but I think you are missing some details. I am also concerned that it is not feasible to totally eliminate 'the brain' in an orgasm. There has to be some kind of mental trigger for me to be able to reach orgasm.

Bottom line is that your logic here is right on the money: I have developed a subconscious mental belief that sex and orgasm can only be done one way, my old way: with my right hand, fast strokes, and elaborate fantasy. I've desensitized myself to stimulation!

Right now I cannot orgasm (even doing it myself.) I do not want to give up – and reach orgasm the 'old' way – although sometimes I do just to relieve the pain and pressure of 'blue balls'. This has been my greatest problem in trying to get through these exercises and make myself able to ejaculate.

I am assuming that if I just keep doing this that at some point it will work. But I also worry that I am spending a lot of time and enduring discomfort with something that may never work for me. On average, how long should I even keep working this exercise before giving up and trying something else? How long should I try during each 'session' before quitting for the day and deciding I really am unable to ejaculate?

Are there any other 'tricks' I should add during these sessions? I was calling it 'control' before – and even though I believe this is still part of it, the underlying issue behind my failure to reach orgasm is simply 40 years of doing it only one way, hard and fast.

man masturbating to gain sexual relief as he cannot ejaculate during sexual intercourseI know exactly what I need to do here: retrain my brain. That is so easy to say and recommend – but how exactly to do that is the hard part. I am assuming your recommendation is repetition – following Step 1. Do you have anything else to add?

Last: I know everyone is different. I am finding sexual intercourse to be useful as part of this program to overcome my problems with my ejaculatory reflex. But I do not think it would be if we had not already been successful with the first general part of your program – i.e. relationship, relaxation, etc. This we have been very successful at completing.

The bottom line here is this: I am attempting to retrain my brain by experiencing and enjoying intercourse – and developing fantasy only as it relates to me and her. I am also adding doing further work on sensitizing myself to touch and changing fantasy and thought patterns.

But again, as I said before, we are just stuck at the very last stage – overcoming the brain. If you think of anything that may help here please advise. Meanwhile I will keep working at. It would be my 'dream' to someday be able to help you fill in some new details and further approaches to help men who are can't get over this problem.

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Updated 10/07/2014